I am still here!

I know it's been awhile, I go through phases with my blog I guess. This one is the most important to me, so I really like to update it.

Right now I am really focusing on Faith! It's on my mind alot. I believe that my faith has increased drastically over the last several months. I KNOW that I KNOW that God can do ANYTHING and we have to have the faith that He can!!!! I feel that I have to make a choice in every situation. Am I going to let this get me down or am I going to have faith that God is going to turn this around for good. It is hard, it is so hard, when something looks impossible, and in the natural there is NO WAY it will work out, turn around, but with God ALL things are possible. It doesn't matter what things LOOK like, it just matters that you believe that God is mighty, he is more than enough, he can provide a miracle.

Financially things have been hard here, I am not going to be embarrassed to share it, or prideful. Jared got a job and we are so thankful and things are better on paper. But we were on forbearance with out mortgage company and now we are picking the payments back up and it's really rough. There are many many days, that I don't know how we will get through the month, how we will pay anything, but God is right there whispering that He will never leave me, He will never forsake me, He is the God of MORE than enough. And we always make it through, we keep pressing on, and I really really have it in my heart, that He is the God of miracles and He has some big miracles in store for us. I proclaim it, I step out in faith and write it down. He has already brought us so many miracles. He is so good! What do you need to have faith for today? Make a choice, choose today, that whatever it is, He will provide the answer, He will bring a miracle in your life!!!

Praise you in this Storm!

I love this song! So many people around me are hurting, they are in the middle of financial storms, storms where there health is being attacked, they are fighting for their lives, their marriages, they are trying to seek God's grace and somethings keeping them back, they need God's love and mercy but the devil has a grip on them and they can't see past the storms. No matter what storm we are in, Praise be to God. He is faithful, merciful, full of grace, hope, peace and joy and we will get through our storms if we lift our eyes to Him for help!

It's still raining, as the thunder roars, I barely hear your whisper through the rain,I am with you. And as your mercy falls, I will raise my hands and praise the God that gives and takes away. You are who you are no matter where i am. Though my heart is torn, I will praise you in this storm.

Womens night at Gateway!

Blown away, just blown away by this women's night we had at our church tonight. Worship was AMAZING, love that song...God, break my heart for what breaks yours...show me how to love like you have loved me, open my eyes to things unseen!! I love that. Then Pastor Arnita talked about your voice, and you have to find your voice (your calling) You have to find what your passion about, you have to figure out what you can give that no one else can give, you can't let guilt, regret or comparison stop you from finding your voice. You need to pull that courage out from inside and have the courage to use your voice, and give into the lives of those around you. We ALL have talents, we each can affect some one's life in a way that NO ONE else can! So much more to write about and I will write more as I reflect more on this night!!!

Obedience

This is what's on my heart right now! God put it in my heart to open my own florist and I had a million "but's" to say back to Him! I would never think I could do this...I could have easily said NO! I could have been too scared. But I knew that this was from God, I took the step of faith and went forward. I obtained my DBA and because of that, a sweet man by the name of Rob Robertson called me and asked if he could set me up with a business checking account with Chase Bank. We met, and this led to me telling him Jared was looking for a job, which led to him going ABOVE and BEYOND to get Jared a job at Chase. I met with him on a tuesday and Jared had the job by Friday. What if I wouldn't have taken that step of faith? What if I hadn't been obedient? Of course, we are gonna miss things and God still has grace for us and His plan will still happen. But I know because of my faith and obedience, God worked this out for us and to reconfirm to me that I am doing the right thing. There has been other things since then...At our last Encounter service, during worship, I felt the Holy Spirit tell me to kneel down on my knees, I did not want to do that. So in my head, I was like Um, no I don't think so. But I heard you will miss out if you don't, I have something to share with you. So I kneeled down and IMMEDIATELY I felt the presence of God stronger that I ever have before. He sweetly reconfirmed his plan for Jared and I, I was having fear and doubts, so many things had fallen through before with the job situation and He knew I was wanting to rejoice but was still holding on to fear that it wouldn't work out. I got up from my knees and could really begin to celebrate...I had no doubts. What is God asking you to do? You will be so glad if you just do it!!! He will reward you, he will move you on to a new level in Him!

Passion

Today I went to my women's life group but this week it was at the church and Zach Neese talked about Passion! He read from the Song of Solomon and talked about the women who responded to the knock at her door, in the middle of the night, when her love wanted to see her, and she responded with, well...I have taken off my robe, do I have to put it back on? I have washed my feet...do I have to soil them? She didn't respond with the same passion as her lover. Jesus pursues US with passion, he wants to KNOW us!! How do we respond to Him? Do we say well, I will have my "moment" with God when I am at church this Sunday, but do we realize that Jesus wants to have these "moments" with us when we least expect them! Maybe when we walk outside or see a beautiful sunrise, maybe when we are singing to praise music in the car. He wants to whisper things to us all day long, every moment is an opportunity to hear from God and seek him, but we have put them in the "Sunday" box. We say, " I will make time for you Sunday, God." I know I have done that...we get a sniff, just a tiny little sniff, or a goose bump, a little sense of his presence on Sunday and we will hold on to that to last us ALL week until next Sunday. WOW, I heard this today and it was FOR ME!! God wants MORE!!! He LONGS to be with us, to give more of himself to us and more of us to Him! I had a divine appointment today at Lifegroup, this was FOR ME! I have been going to church and getting a great sniff of his presence and maybe even at times had good intentions of leaving and spending time with Him throughout the week, but guess what happened. The worries and weights and cares of this world and just the DISTRACTIONS of my flesh have kept me from it. God is pulling on our hearts, He wants more, He deserves more. And if you are reading this right now...you are ready. I really felt God speak to me today and say something to me that I have known and heard a million times before but I got it in a new way today! He said...Lay down MORE of you (lay down my distractions, my worries, my weights) and then you can pick up MORE of me! Die to MYSELF, and have MORE of HIM! It's worth it...I know it is!! NOTHING can compare to what he has to offer me.

On a personal note, I just wanted to share this because I thought it was so sweet. At the end Zach said to pray and ask God how He sees us and also how He wants us to see Him. So I prayed and He told me that He sees me as a life-giver, that people seek after life...they are drawn to it and I am called to be a life-giver. (to me this means what I have known but he reiterated today-to encourage, edify,build up, praise other's) And that I am a precious gem to Him and I am one of a kind!! (that's how he sees you too) I asked Him how he wanted me to see Him and He said as a Shelter from the storm, a soft place to fall, a haven...that I am supposed to draw near to Him and he will equip me with what I need to take back out into the ugly, dark, disappointing world, and that when I go back to it after resting in Him, I will have what I need to deal with the trials and tribulations that I will have to face. So I encourage you to ask God this as well and let Him whisper this to you!! And lastly, I just want to pray over you what Zach prayed over us, which was that you will love God the least today...you will love Him more and more everyday and the distance between you from Him will shorten and shorten! Wow!! I hope this minister's to you as much as it did to me!!! Thanks for reading and letting me share it!!

Faith

"…faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead"
(James 2:17, NIV)

This is what I am learning right now! So I am stepping out and putting action behind my faith! I am trusting God! I am doing something that I could never dream up in my wildest dreams, I would never feel capable of doing, I would never have the guts to do! But I have faith in God. He has a plan for my life, he has given me visions of this plan, and so therefore I will put action behind my faith and go forward!! Scary but exciting!!

Fly

I had a revelation this weekend at our church's Encounter service. It was that God wants me to Fly...I have been struggling with everything that has happening around me, I have been focusing on the question's I have that I do not understand. God spoke to me and told me to let them go, let the questions go, HE is the answer and that is all I need to know. These questions I have, the storms going on around me are weighing me down. He wants me to surrender them so I can fly. Fly over the storm, be unmoved by them, remain centered in HIM regardless of what is going on around me or regardless of what I don't understand. I have made the decision to let go, so I can fly!! I already feel diferent! I hope that doesn't sound weird to you but makes sense! : )